too near
by fiesa
Summary: Journeys are composed of nows. Sixty-three 100-word drabbles- Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. Various characters (from various series by Clamp).
1. 01-07

**too near**

_Summary: Journeys are composed of nows. Sixty-three 100 words drabbles- Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle. Various characters._

_Warning: 100 word drabbles, various characters. _

_Set: Before, during and after the series. Alternatively: other choices, other places._

_Disclaimer: Standards apply. _

* * *

_somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond  
any experience, your eyes have their silence:  
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,  
or which i cannot touch because they are too near_

e.e. Cummings, "somewhere i have never travelled"

…

**01. Ending. **_Syaoran_.**  
**

The sun sank, casting the wing-shaped ruins into a golden glow. The sky was clear, gold and every shade of red. Syaoran had seen many skies – but this one was by far the prettiest.

_I will definitely tell you the next time we meet_, Sakura had said.

Where he had touched her arm, her skin had been hot. Syaoran knew – it was hard to miss, hard not to see the way her eyes lit up. Hard not to look at her the way he wanted to. The hardest to tell himself not to feel that way.

_Impossible._

The sun sank.

* * *

**02. Encounters. **_Kurogane._

He was, at that point, very ready to do anything and to put up with anyone to get back. Strange how you only realized what you loved and how much when it was taken away from you.

_(He ignored the tiny voice in the back of his head that whispered that _Tomoyo_ sent him away and perhaps she did not need him anymore. Home had been where she was, always since _that_ day.)_

The mage was annoying. The white plush thing, too. The boy… The boy.

"I won't bother you."

Such honest eyes. How long would they stay that clear?

* * *

**03. Pretenses.**_ Fye._

Japan was different from Ceres but then he had known it would be.

The Witch of Dimensions was beautiful and so much older than she looked. The ninja was lost and hid it underneath his anger. The girl was unconscious, a replica of a real princess, and so was the boy though neither of them knew. And then there was Fye: a cursed mage, a spy. Hiding his abilities, his agenda. Ready to betray them as soon as the time came.

None of them were _real_.

It would have been nice to meet without all the pretenses they kept upright.

* * *

**04. Gods and Humans.** _Arashi._

"It is my firm belief that every human in this country is guarded by one of the myriads of gods that exist – is it not splendid?"

Sorata always seemed younger when he lectured. He was so lively, so excitable – so little like her. She had been taught not to show her feelings the way Sorata did: groomed to be a priestess she had served dutifully, waiting and waiting and not knowing for what.

But that night he watched her undress like she was the most precious being in the world. There was no trace of childishness left.

Arashi loved him.

* * *

**05. Universes.**_ Yuuko._

Mokona's power receeded. The clouds lifted, turning the world a brilliant gold.

She had been waiting so long she couldn't even remember since when. Now that it had happened she felt older, somehow.

_Clow. Where are you now?_

Being the oldest being in all universes was a terribly lonely thing. People said everyone had a perfect other half – Yuuko had one, too, but he was gone.

_Damn you for leaving me like this. _

On and on and on and on. Eras would pass, suns would rise and fall; and she still would be waiting.

Except… _It has begun. _Yuuko smiled.

* * *

**06. Partners.**_ Syaoran, Kurogane._

Syaoran had learned fighting out of necessity. He'd seen many fights.

Still, it was the first time he saw someone fight like Kurogane did. It wasn't pure lust for battle, or even the arrogance some warriors displayed. The ninja did fight neither too recklessly nor cautious. He took no unnecessary risks, kept his guard up yet did not run from challenges. He was strong, too. Syaoran had noticed it right away.

Kurogane was a formidable fighter, and a splendid teacher. Still, everything in the way he fought seemed to scream of desperate loneliness.

They would be a damn good team.

* * *

**07. Interlude.**

The Princess sleeps. She is beautiful, and his heart aches.

"Good Morning," Kurogane-San says and does not look at him but Syaoran can feel the kindness the ninja is trying to hide.

"Have a cup of tea," Fye-San offers with a smile.

The tea is hot and sweet, warming him from the inside. Outside, the inhabitants of Oto pass by on their daily chores. The café will be opening soon: the scent of coffee and cake already hangs sweetly and promising in the air.

"Syaoran-Kun!" Mokona lands on the table and chatters away and Syaoran thinks _I could stay here_.


	2. 08-14

**08. Every Year.** _Ryu, Yuzuriha._

"Will they ever come back?"

"I am sure they will." Ryu shaded his eyes with a hand. Yuzuriha watched him from the corner of her eyes: he looked older and his face had lost its childishness. But there still was a brilliant smile in his eyes. "One day we'll enter Oto and the Cat's Eye will have opened again."

"Ah." Leaning back, she allowed herself to enjoy the view. "Until then, I will wait."

"Me too."

A bark made them glance up: Soma and Kusanagi-San were climbing the steep path, Inuki hard on their heels.

"Next year, same time?"

"Always."

* * *

**09. Black and White.**_ Touya, Yukito._

Touya knew he was a person that made others feel uncomfortable. It wasn't a good thing when you inherited a country to rule.

Yuki was the kind one of the two of them.

Touya had the feeling he was supposed to be _different_. A patient man, a man who nodded, smiled and _felt_. Openly. He had tried so hard. Until the day his father had told him that it was fine – the people would understand. One day he would find someone who knew he was kind, no matter how grim he looked.

Yuki never told him to be someone else.

* * *

**10. Every day.**_ Clow Reed._

It probably was the most vain thing he ever did before and yet he could not help himself.

_I do not want her to die. _

And with that careless wish, she was trapped and he was cursed. Seven children got caught in a loop of sadness, many more died, and Clow Reed could do nothing but watch.

_Mistakes happen._

Not to him. Not like that. Not if it meant the only person he ever loved was cursed for eternity. All the children he would eventually come to love – he had made them suffer.

Every day he woke to that knowledge.

* * *

**11. Lifetimes.** _Seishiro._

There were many things Seishiro remembered: Waking up to sunlight streaming into his bedroom, walking to work, meeting people. Seeing Subaru, laughing with Hokuto, learning to _feel_, learning to live. Watching the moon rise, listening to soft breathing next to him where the twins had fallen asleep on the couch.

Killing Hokuto. It seemed a lifetime ago.

Dying. Awakening. How many times had he been reincarnated? Was it madness that made him search for the only person that could kill him? This Subaru didn't even know Hokuto. This Subaru had, foolishly, saved him once.

Maybe lives had made Seishiro softer.

* * *

**12. Love Story.**_ Suzuran, Soseki._

The first time they met was in the middle of a wind of flowers.

They were ten. It did not matter that Soseki was a son of the Jinja and that Suzuran had been with Yuka-Kou since her birth. They turned twelve, sixteen and twenty. They met whenever the circus was in town: they fell in love.

It suddenly mattered when Soseki was appointed the leader of the Jinja the day his brother died. The same year, on the other side of the country, Sasami-Sama elected Suzuran as her heir.

Love stories, Suzuran figured, only had happy endings in fairy-tales.

* * *

**13. Fire Dance.**_ Karen._

If only the dance could take away her loneliness.

The fire was warm, welcoming and child-like. There was a beauty in the flames that few people saw and fewer learned to see. There was danger, too, but Karen had early learned that dangerous things had to be treated with respect and they would return it.

Sometimes she dreamed of a child in her arms – of someone who held her – and she woke feeling empty and alone but she never remembered faces.

"Karen-San," the girl Sakura said, her eyes full of trust and hope. "Can I learn this, too?"

Karen smiled.

* * *

**14. Interlude.**

The night is warm.

Sakura gazes into the sky: stars, like a million lights. _Each light represents a being's life_, her father had told her.

"What was that, Princess?" Syaoran smiles at her. Sakura blushes: she has not meant to speak out those words loud.

"I know a similar saying," Fye diverts the general attention from her. "I'm sure Kuro-Pii has one in his country, too."

"Don't call me that," the ninja grumbles half-heartedly.

Mokona jumps onto his head. "More sake!"

The bench they sit on trembles as Kurogane and Mokona fight for the bottle. Sakura, Syaoran and Fye laugh.


	3. 15-21

**15. Castle in the Sky.**_ Ashura._

First child born into the Ashura Clan after half a century: child with a name nobody used because it was _Ashura_. A child with wild, black hair, slender and beautiful.

A girl.

The Ashura needed a leader. The Ashura needed a king. The Ashura needed a warlord and a commander and a swordman, so she became all of it. Became it so thoroughly that she forgot that she was anything besides those titles and duties. With the loyalty she inspired, she could have had anyone. Anyone except Yasha.

He died in her arms. It was the only time Kohana cried.

* * *

_A/N: __Kohana – Little Flower_

* * *

**16. Dream-Wandering.**_ Tomoyo._

Hinato-Sama had taught her universes were sometimes created out of the dreams of people. There were pretty ones, and terrible, and in most of them there was one version of herself.

Tomoyo, President of Piffle Princess Corporation.

Tomoyo, daughter of a wealthy businesswoman.

Tomoyo, Princess Miko of Nihon.

If she blinked she could see another universe, right in the corner of her eyes. In her dreams, she travelled anywhere. No matter where she went, she never found a second Kurogane.

No matter how much she dreamed, she did not want to wake up anywhere else than in Nihon.

_Come back._

* * *

**17. Nameless.** _Shinfo._

The only world Shinfo ever knew was the world inside Feiwan's hideaway.

Feiwan Reed had created her from human souls: that was what she knew. She also knew she was a puppet. Soul-less, name-less, because she understood that a name was only of use when others would call her by it.

Call it with love.

The only thing she knew about other worlds was what she saw through the mirror. It might have been a lonely life but she did not know what loneliness meant.

She just _was. _

Syaoran was the only one who grieved for her after she died.

* * *

**18. too near.**_ Kurogane._

Somehow he had come to care for those people far too much. They had crashed his barriers, eroded his walls, and Kurogane was pretty sure he would regret it in the time to come.

Tomoyo had told him he wasn't alone. He had accepted her, but never anyone else. He knew why now.

He refused to let them out of his sight, even when he only went down to the water reservoir. He would not lose one of them like that again.

They were too near. He couldn't be with them without hurting, but maybe that was what it meant.

* * *

**19. Powerless.**_ Syaoran._

A constant feeling.

Syaoran had felt it before: With Sakura, in the ruins of Clow Country. Watching, unable to do something. Then, again, only able to watch from the confinement of Feiwan Reed's cage. Now he had his freedom, he had his magic, but he still was as powerless as he had been then.

Nothing he could do would ever change that.

Sakura did not even look at him: he could not blame her. He felt the same about her. So much pain, so much sadness, and for what?

But he had made a decision. He would stand by it.

* * *

**20. Loyalty.**_ Fye._

"Your loyalty is worth nothing if you only pledge it for a span of time," Kurogane said and turned away. Fye watched him leave, knowing of whom he was thinking. The unreadable ninja seemed different when he thought of his Princess. Fye supposed he was the same.

He'd never thought he'd come to love her that much.

Kurogane was right: he had no right to be anything to her, no right to pretend caring. But that was the thing: he had stopped pretending long ago.

King Ashura was calling from the depths of the pool.

Fye didn't have much time.

* * *

**21. Interlude.**

"Moko-Chan! Moko-Chan! Come back, you'll get all wet and cold!"

The rain pours down relentlessly. But the sky is blue, somehow, and the rain drops are warm and soft.

"Sakura!" Syaoran follows her on her heels, as usual. Kurogane, safe under the small roof, growls. "Kids!"

Fye grins and ignores the ninja's glare. "Daddy is worried, children, come back or you'll catch a cold!"

"Take that! Ncha Cannon!"

_Splash!_

"Sakura – you're all wet!"

But Sakura only laughs, drenched in rain, and Mokona jumps onto her shoulder and laughs as well.

The rainbow that follows the warm summer rain is beautiful.


	4. 22-28

**22. Choices.**_ Sakura._

She chose her own path.

Her entire life, people had done things for her. It had culminated in Syaoran losing his soul and would end with all of her dear friends dead. Sakura couldn't accept it.

Separating from them was the only way.

Oh, but the thought hurt. She loved them – each and every one, Kurogane with his awkward gentleness, Fye and his broken soul, Mokona, even Syaoran who looked like her Syaoran but wasn't. They tried so hard, so hard, and she would leave them.

She wasn't sure her companions would approve of her choice, but it was hers.

* * *

**23. Ephemeral.** _Kurogane._

He had the feeling they all would disappear: the Princess, the kid, even the annoying pork bun. But it was worst with the mage.

Fye looked like he was dying and knew it. He laughed like he was about to disappear forever and Kurogane hated it, hated it so much he wanted to scream.

Why was everyone leaving?

Because the one kid already left, the Princess was almost gone and the other kid was so fragile he might break anytime and since when was he the only sensible one?

He grabbed the mage's arm and held on tightly and _prayed. _

* * *

**24. Dream Weaver.** _Lantis._

Geo wasn't talking to him anymore. Instead, he dreamed:

_It is time._

"Just lie to them," Eagle said, calm as usual. And Lantis couldn't decide whether he wanted to throttle his best friend or feel relieved. "Geo will believe you." Truth wrapped in lies. Undetectable.

"Isn't there anything we can do?"

"You don't even know those people, Lantis."

"No." He shook his head. "But we've been watching them. It feels… Like they should be happy."

"Many people should," Eagle said softly. "There is nothing we can do."

What was he a dream weaver for it he couldn't even _do_ anything?

* * *

**25. Responsibility.**

The words were universal.

_You are responsible for what you have tamed._

Fye had allowed himself to love the Princess. Kurogane had allowed them to get close to him. Syaoran was trying to atone – for whatever – and Mokona was caught, too, and all of them were responsible for their own grief and yet weren't.

_It's still time,_ the Princess' voice rang in their heads. _We're not too late. _And, the most important words: _The future is still in motion. _

It made them move forward.

_Because nothing one loves is eternal if one does not care for it and make sacrifices. _

* * *

**26. Tower of Bones.**_ Fye._

He used the dead as a ladder.

Yui climbed and climbed and never reached the peak of the wall – it was their curse. From above Fye watched, as helpless as Yui.

Cursed twins, the two of them, but at least they were together.

"I'll find a way to save you," both of them promised, but they couldn't hear each other. It was what made Fye give up his own life and prompted Yui to take his brother's name.

"Did you really think I would hate you? You are my other half. As long as you are happy, I am, too."

* * *

**27. Fearsome.** _Fye._

Kurogane was terrifying when he was angry. Terrifyingly calm, too. There was no sign for his anger than the coldness of his eyes, and that, somehow, was worse than anything else could have been.

_I can't die yet. _

Fye hadn't been woken yet, his promise wasn't fulfilled. _But you have promised to serve the Princess, too, _the voices in his head whispered. _You have promised to continue forward. _

There had been a promise to the ninja, too, it had been so very, very important but right now the mage couldn't remember anything.

Perhaps that was why Kurogane was so angry.

* * *

**28. Interlude.**

"I hate this," Kurogane grumbles.

Mokona, sitting on his head, is singing loudly. "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you!"

"Stop it!" Kurogane's hand descends onto her and clamps her mouth shut. It causes her to sing only louder – nobody wonders how this is possible.

"Don't be a party pooper, Kuro-chan, the Princesses had so much fun arranging all this!" Fye's gesture encompasses the garden, the cherry trees, the feast.

"Tomoyo I get," the ninja continues. "But how did the Princess know?"

"You forget she is a dream weaver," Syaoran interjects, looking up from a book.

Kurogane just sighs.


	5. 29-35

**29. Measured**._ Fye._

It wasn't that he loved Sakura more than he loved King Ashura and Fye. Love could not be measured up.

His love for King Ashura wasn't like the one he shared with Fye. Fye's – Yui's – love for the Princess couldn't be compared to Kurogane's and Syaoran's, either, although they were so close. Nothing compared to it: there were worlds and shades Fye did not understand and never would.

It was precisely because he did not love his King the way he loved his Princess that he finally was able to do what he had to do.

King Ashura died smiling.

* * *

**30. Homecoming**. _Kurogane._

"It's you, isn't it."

He didn't need to ask. He felt it, as clear as he knew his own name: this was her.

"Welcome home, Kurogane," Princess Tomoyo said.

Coming home was strange in many different ways. Some of the smaller were that he couldn't look at Soma without remembering the one from Oto. He also – for some strange reason – couldn't look at Princess Tomoyo for too long. The food tasted strange – strange, sweet – even the air felt different. It was as if he did not belong there anymore.

"My Youju," the Princess said softly, and suddenly he was free.

* * *

**31. A company of broken children.**_ Kurogane, Fye._

The only thing they had in common were their feelings for the children they accompanied across the universes.

A mage who lied in order to defend, a sword-fighter who told the truth in order to hurt: they didn't match up at all. Different codexes, different worlds – it would have ended in blood either way.

Sometimes Fye wondered what would have happened if it had been the other way round. If Kurogane had been Feiwan Reed's spy and Fye (and Yuui) the Witches' children.

(Kurogane would have killed Princess Tomoyo.)

Sometimes, Fye was glad it had turned out this way.

* * *

**32. Dynamics.**_ Sakura, Syaoran._

Maybe the dynamics had changed, now that they were themselves and yet weren't.

Syaoran couldn't help but wonder: would she have looked at his clone like that? Would she have let him fight? He was an impostor, though it should have been the other way round.

It didn't help that she avoided him. Their relationship had always been based on her seeking contact – her hand in his, her eyes on him, her voice calling out. Now she was intentionally severing all ties.

Kurogane's hand was warm and reassuring. "Sleep, kid."

His Sakura was waiting. He would save both, he vowed.

* * *

**33. Desert Night.**_ Fujitaka, Nadeshiko._

She could hear the song of the wind in the ruins, and it was beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time.

"My love." Fujitaka stepped onto the balcony next to her. "What are you thinking about?"

Nadeshiko turned towards her husband, the king, and smiled. "About Everything and Nothing, Your Majesty."

Chuckling, he kissed her wrist, his lips warm and familiar. "As usual, you are far more thoughtful than I could ever be."

Her clear laughter was carried away by the cool winds. "I forgot I married a charmer." She leaned against him as he wrapped his arms around her.

* * *

**34. Treasured.**_ Syaoran._

There was more to it than just kindness.

He loved Sakura – seven days, nine years and one eternity of watching hadn't changed that. She wasn't _his_ Sakura. Still, the feeling was there.

_Why do you want to save her? _The Witch had asked, long ago. It wasn't just kindness, or the feeling of wanting to set a wrong right again. It was her – _Sakura_ – whose eyes made his pulse race, whose small fingers held his aching heart. Seven days and one eternity and he would always love her.

No, not kindness or pity, never. Syaoran treasured her – therefore, he agreed.

* * *

**35. Interlude.**

"Kurogane, you disobeyed the Commander again today," Tomoyo says.  
Kurogane shrugs carelessly. "I am stronger than him. I don't see why I should listen to his lectures."  
"But you should." Her voice is stern but Kurogane thinks he can hear her laughter in it.

"Fye-San, that was brilliant!" The soldiers cheer and congratulate him, pat his back, and Fye smiles.  
"It was nothing," he says modestly, feeling the blush creep into his face.  
"The contrary," King Ashura says and his hand is warm and comforting. "One day, you'll save us all."

"They are doing well, Clow, despite everything." Yuuko smiles.


	6. 36-42

**36. Paradox.**_ Syaoran._

If the world was anything but fair, Syaoran would end up just like Feiwan Reed.

Like his ancestor, he had insisted upon wishing something that defied the laws of time and reason. Simple: Either one gave up on what one dreamed of or one disregarded other peoples' wishes.

Everything came down to that.

There was a paradox somewhere in their chain of logic: why should he escape judgment when Feiwan was punished? When even Clow and the Witch had suffered? Ignorance didn't excuse mistakes and didn't protect from punishment.

Syaoran had made his decision in full knowledge of the consequences.

* * *

**37. Strength.**_ Sakura._

Giving birth to her first and only child, Sakura knew she would lose it. She could see it in the careful tilt of his head when he listened to his father attentively, in the intelligent, warm light of his clear, brown eyes – even in the way he held her hand when she slipped hers into his.

(Almost never the other way round.)

Syaoran always was strong: she remembered his back when he fought the chess tournament, his strong but gentle grip when he guided her to her room.

_If it is something I can do, I will go. _

Sakura prayed.

* * *

**38. First.**_ Syaoran._

He would always remember that first encounter.

A cathedral of light: a girl in a pool of water. A bell chimed the afternoon hour in a world that wasn't his. Heartbeats and he knew he had come for her only.

_Who are you?_

If he would forever remain in Feiwan's prison, if he would die in a faraway world, if his body was burnt to ashes and his soul torn into pieces: that one moment in time would forever remain.

Syaoran lifted his hand and felt the cool glass: when he lost everything else, he still would have the memories.

* * *

**39. Rivalry, latent.**_ Touya._

The brat annoyed him because he was everything one _should_ wish for one's little sister.

Syaoran was perfect: Touya loathed him.

The boy was an expert swordsman, intelligent and quick-witted, full of foresight and knowledge. He knew the basics of most rituals, was able to use magic and his perfect manners had all ladies at the court fuss over him.

(Not that Touya envied him for _that_.)

If he hadn't been so calm, so kind, so patient – perhaps then Touya would have been able to accept him with grace. But the worst thing:

He would hurt Sakura. That was inacceptable.

* * *

**40. Wrongness.**_ Syaoran._

An abomination: these suffocating, black wings he could see whenever he looked at her. So terribly wrong. Sakura's wings were supposed to be white.

So his indecision – and his following decision – had set many things in motion: Kurogane lost his parents, Yuui lost his twin, Feiwan gained power and Clow lost it (gave it up, not that it mattered), two clones were born into a never-ending circle and worlds were lost.

Sometimes he wondered: had he known the consequences, would he have decided differently? He never was able to say.

The wrongness remained; a black, dark hole in his heart.

* * *

**41. Words.**_ Fye._

At one point, Kurogane had started speaking for him.

Fye noticed somewhere between: between fights and sadness, between hope and survival. The ninja said "We will go with you" and where he went Fye went, the ninja said "You are still yourself" and Fye silently agreed. Kurogane didn't even pause to acknowledge Fye's approval, as if he knew what he said the mage would think, too, as if they had become one.

A bond formed by loss. Nothing romantic there.

Fye had no objections. They loved the same things, after all: so now their wishes had become one as well.

* * *

**42. Interlude.**

The Princess stops a few meters in front of him, her face a mixture of hope and elation. "You are back?"

"Welcome," Yukito says and the fleeting second passes, somehow Sakura is in his arms and Syaoran holds her like he never wants to let go. And then Mokona jumps onto her shoulder and shouts her greeting, her long ears tickling Sakura's neck, and Fye-San kisses her hand and then embraces her while Kurogane just looks.

Sakura can feel the shift, almost unnoticeable, and it is like she can breathe again after such a long time:

_They are home again._


	7. 43-49

**43. Deja-Vu.**_ Syaoran._

Seeing through his twin's eyes was like having deja-vues all over.

Clow Country: Touya and Yukito, black and white. Sand, sun, the ruins, a life he'd lived and yet not-lived. And, of course, Sakura: At seven, ten, sixteen. Healthy, alive, happy, _alive. _Beautiful. Her radiance gained intensity with every second he was able to look at her.

Then the travels.

Kurogane, Fye, Mokona. The Witch of the Dimensions. Hanshin, Oto, Tokyo – wherever they went, he went, too, and watched. Deja-vu because it was painful. And lonely: so incredibly, heartbreakingly lonely.

Deja-vu: Kurogane's pain, Fye's loss. Sakura's realization as she remembers.

* * *

**44. Beautiful day.**_ Sakura._

The sun woke her early, tickling her nose. Outside, peoples' voices told her stories of a busy-morning street. Kuro-chan was fast asleep on his bed of pillows.

Dressing quickly, the girl made her way down the staircase and into the living-room. A glance to the side: the picture was there, as usual. She peeked through the kitchen door: Touya was busy making pancakes. Yuki sat at the table, smiling, watching him. The newspaper was gone, Dad had already left.

Stepping onto the street, she felt the soft breeze. It felt like spring.

Sakura knew it would be a perfect day.

* * *

**45. Together.**_ Syaoran._

Sometimes he wondered.

In all their travels, of all the numerous worlds they had visited – why had they never met another version of _themselves_? The Witch had warned them and yet it never had occurred. How strange that something Yuuko saw wouldn't happen.

So it had to exist: a world in which they were together, all of them. Kurogane, hot-headed and strong, kind, soft-hearted Fye, Sakura and him. Always together, laughing, smiling, crying, annoying each other. Loving each other.

There _had_ to be a universe out there which had remained untouched by Feiwan's insanity.

Fate owed them one big time.

* * *

**46. Children.**_ Sakura._

Touya still called them children.

It went like that: "Sakura" – he had abandoned the "little sister", and if anything, this hurt far more – "the brat is back" – and she wouldn't notice until Syaoran had his arms around her, and then Touya would smirk again and call him "brat" and tell them that "children" had to be in bed by midnight.

(And, incidentally, did _not_ sleep in the same room.)

She could have resented him for that: she did not. She understood it was his way of coping with the fact that he couldn't protect her anymore.

It hurt her, too.

* * *

**47. Doubt(less).**_ Syaoran._

Once he told a stranger, because it was impossible to tell someone he knew. Gave him an abbreviated version without magic, dimensional travels or Hitsuzen, a rather generic version of their story. Boy meets girl, swears to protect her, fails, searches for her, insert action here. The answer came swift:

"Why didn't you just leave when you knew she would die? It seems to me that staying with her all those years did neither one of you a favor. Especially since you only knew her for a few days. Why didn't you just go home?"

And wasn't that the question?

* * *

**48. Decisions.**_ Syaoran._

There just _had_ to be a way, and he knew what he had to do. It was simple, really, except for when it was not.

Fye hurt, Kurogane, Mokona, Sakura – even his twin. His betrayal had left all of them devastated but it was the only way he could think of in order to save them.

_(It all has happened before, love.)_

So he ran from them. He killed to protect Syaoran from it and fled from Sakura to stop Fye from hurting her and every injury he caused made him bleed out internally a little bit more.

_I lo-…_

* * *

**49. Interlude.**

"Woah!"

Sakura has some trouble with the hose before the water lands where it is supposed to land.

Kurogane turns towards the Princess: she has a smudge of dirt on her nose but her face glows. The garden around them is lush and green – how the heck has he ended up here? – but he guesses working as gardeners for their stay is not as bad as it could be. At least they have proper names here.

"Kuro-Rin-Pin!" The stupid mage hollers across the fence. He and the brat are in process of painting it brightly blue.

(So much for _that._)


	8. 50-56

**50. Names.** _Kurogane._

Suwa tradition had it that every child received one name from its mother and one from its father. The last, it chose when it reached adulthood.

The Lord of Suwa named his only son and heir Waka. Waka of Suwa became Kurogane when he lost his parents. But his true name only his Princess knew, the name his mother had graced him with at his birth.

Names had always been familiar to Kurogane. Then, suddenly, the sound of the peoples' names changed. That was how he knew he had witnessed the end.

And survived.

In his dreams, his parents smiled.

* * *

**51. End.**_ Arashi._

As always it ended where it began: in a tower in Tokyo.

Of course, she didn't know that. Arashi only knew that tremors were shaking the foundations of the towers, that Seals and Stars alike were cowering in the ruins; and she could see despair painted darkly in every face.

Tears scratched at the back of her eyes but she refused to cry.

"Well, sister," Sorata said and grinned painfully. "At least we're on the same side again."

Looking at him hurt strangely but she yearned for his sight. "We never were before."

Even to her, her words sounded hollow.

* * *

**52. One.**_ Syaoran, Sakura._

At the edges of reality, where their magic circles overlapped, they met.

Necessity, not wish. And it was painful because the feeling of _rightness_ was incredible. They had shared it once: it had brought them together then. Now it would separate them forever.

It did not matter: they were one. Had been from the moment they had met again. Would always be one.

A light flared up from their combined circles as their fingertips touched, a feeling so profound and exhilarating they held their breath. Their eyes did not leave each other. Then: nothing.

In a way, everything started here.

* * *

**53. Reason.**_ Clow, Yuuko._

She was dying. Both of them knew it.

"I don't think I can live without you."

She smiled. He had always loved her smile – it felt as if she smiled only for him. "Wasn't what we had enough?"

His dark eyes didn't leave hers. "You are strong, Yuuko, but I am not. I don't think I can live without you."

"Everything ends. You know this as well as I do."

It was foolish. Weakness, mistake. _(Hisuzen?) _ "Yuuko, please open your eyes. Just one last time."

He was so powerful. She loved him so much.

_(One for reason, one for excuse.)_

* * *

**54. Emptiness.**_ Hikaru._

"Hikaru-chan, I wonder," Fuu-chan said. She looked wistful. Umi-chan and Sakura-chan had just left to get another piece of cake from the buffet and Hikaru paused with her fork in her hand, knowing her friends had intentionally arranged this moment. "Don't you miss him? Lantis?"

Hikaru smiled. Shrugged. And knew it was what they had expected, anyway.

"Try this one!" Umi and Sakura were back. Hikaru saw them exchange glances and felt guilty for not telling them – but she couldn't.

Missing something you once had was one thing. Missing something you never had was another. It shouldn't hurt like that.

* * *

**55. Injury.**_ Kurogane, Tomoyo._

"You got hurt again, Kurogane," Tomoyo said. She had snuck up on him, as usual, nice ninja he was. "Here, let me do this."

She had stopped telling him not to get injured long ago. He was thankful. Tomoyo's hands were soft as she wrapped his bruised arm in bandages. When he looked up, her face was right in front of his. Dark eyes watched him, looking right into his very soul.

"What?" He asked gruffly.

"Close your eyes," she whispered.

Her lips ghosted over his, sweet, light as a feather.

Youju did not close his eyes for one second.

* * *

**56. Interlude.**

"Marry me," he says.

Kurogane stares at the mage, unblinking. Unmoving. Because, perhaps, if he pretends he hasn't heard him at all, maybe he will forget this insanity. But Fye only grins maniacally.

"Marry me!" He sings, and then Mokona joins him, doing a mad little dance on top of the mage's head. Kurogane thinks he died, and he is in hell.

Definitely.

Finally, he finds his voice again. _"What is _wrong_ with you?"_

"Marry me!" Fye just hollers at the top of his voice. Mokona is opening the sake. "Clow Country better get ready!"

And _then_ Kurogane finally understands.


	9. 57-63

**57. Two Hearts.**_ Syaoran, Sakura._

They were clones.

Unfinished creatures. Lifeless, empty, until someone started filling up their beings and their souls. It had taken so long but they had found each other: in the smile of their parents, the laugh of their friends. How strange how injuries that had never occurred could hurt so much, and how love could heal so many injuries.

Memories of many lives followed them wherever they went. It became their heart, their second nature: _look out. _One day it had to happen. One day, two hearts would finally meet.

Sakura had never seen him before. Still, she _knew _him.

* * *

**58. Alternate: Eternity.**_ Fye._

"So they each went back to their countries, and the world was at peace."

Fye closed the book and found three pairs of critical eyes on him.

"Sorry, Mage De Fluoryte," the eldest child said, "That ending? It totally sucks."

The mage grinned. "You think so, too?"

"Oh yeah!" The second boy nodded vigorously. "All that romantic crap aside: come one, who waits for someone forever?"

"What do _you_ think, sweetheart?" He asked the third child.

The girl's eyes were wide. "It's a sad story."

"Why?"

"They couldn't even_ touch_ each other."

"It's just a _story, _Naho," the eldest said.

* * *

**59. Alternate: Return.**_ Kurogane._

Tomoyo was right behind him – as he'd known she'd be. Kurogane did not turn around. Instead, he regarded the landscape before him: lush green trees, green meadows, a small river meandering through the valley.

"Maybe," he said, more to himself, "I should leave and live here again."

Tomoyo's voice was soft like the wind. "Stay in Suwa? Farming, watching, protecting your people? It would be a good life."

"Yes." In his mind's eye he could see the golden wheat.

"So stay."

"So any random assassin can kill the Miko of Nihon? You're _so _lost without me."

Behind him, she laughed.

* * *

**60. Alternate: Wandering.** _Syaoran._ (Guest appearance: Myo-Un, Ryu-Sang and Aru from _Nabi_)

"Who's that old man with Lady Sabu, Nonna?"

Aru was tugging at Myo-Un's skirts, her small hands insistently demanding the older girl's fullest attention. Myo-Un bent down to pick her up and turned: the Master was crossing the yard slowly with a tall man with snow-white hair with an intricate, red-gold-green sword at his side.

"An old friend of Lady Sabu's," she explained. "He seems to be wandering the world. Sometimes he stops by."

"Why? Has he lost something?"

"Maybe he lost his mind," Ryu-Sang supplied sarcastically from behind them. Myo-Un froze. "Who would continue looking for someone who has died?"

* * *

**61. Alternate: Failure.**_ Yuuko._

_No._

Yuuko pressed her lips together: she could _feel_ droplets of her blood fall onto the ground where her fingernails had cut her palms. The image was crystal clear – Feiwan laughing victoriously – and time ticked by. Irreversible.

"You hear me, Witch?" He shouted. "I won't allow it! I will kill the girl every time she is reborn and you will never find the exit of the circle you are caught in! I won't allow you to die!"

Two men in their own blood, a boy huddled brokenly over the lifeless body of a girl.

_Oh Clow, what have we done?_

* * *

**62. Beginning, Part 1.**_ Sakura._

The sun rose – beautifully, gloriously, red and golden and warm.

"You make it impossible to look at you," Touya said. "Really, Sakura, white?"

"I see nothing wrong with her color of the ceremonial robes," Yukito chuckled. "The Princess has always worn white."

"Yeah, but she's so _damn blinding!_"

"Aww," Sakura said. "I take that as a compliment."

"Whatever," Touya grumbled. "Now hold still."

The circlet of gold was heavier than she expected but perhaps it was her imagination. When she rose, the bells on her robes chimed through the morning air. Somehow, she would have thought she would feel different.

* * *

**63. Beginning, Part 2.** _Sakura._

The Sun rose.

"My Queen," her brother said as he and Yukito bowed and slipped away to let her complete her prayers.

At some point she realized she was no longer alone. A man stood at the side of the sacred pool, his face hidden by the shadows of the huge dome. The water hadn't protested his arrival.

"Who are you?"

He stepped forward, into the light.

As the words slipped from her tongue, Sakura had the sudden feeling that finally, everything was _right._

Every journey ends at its beginning: But this one is a story for a different night.

* * *

_somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond  
__any experience, your eyes have their silence:  
__in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,  
__or which i cannot touch because they are too near_

e.e. Cummings, "somewhere i have never travelled"


End file.
